The cocunut hunter

I started this post almost a month weeks ago. In a way it's a shame on the other hand it is just me and I dobn't want to feel gulity...still: somehow I feel responsible to update this page regularly after so many people have been informed about it, and also because I consider it the best way to reach everyone I can't keep in touch in e-mail...

Let me share a fresh impr ession: it certainly is a very special feeling to go out to empty the rubish bin and meet with a cow just in front of the gate, who will by the way consume most of the content of the bin. In the background a wonderful sunset with palm trees on the edge of Your horizont. Then walking back, passing the altar of Ganesh. In the kitchen Raquel is preparing dinner, and somewhere from the back You can hear a nice old song flying out from Your laptop: "Minden hajnal övé marad, Látja szállni a madarakat, Hosszú hosszú ideje már, Nem számolja a napokat már, de amíg él el nem felejti, hogy a múltat ki nem tépheti szívéből..." I find it very difficult to explain this sensation. I developped a very different perspective to view the World and myself. I can see that I can live everywhere, that people are - all in all - quite the same wherever I go (what a surprise! :-)) and that I am just one of the 6,5 billion. And at the same time: being European, being Hungarian, being Peter... these all have become more meaningful, much more part of my own identfication.

As Raquel is a very popular teacher all her students invites her into their villages, and I usually part of the Europen package. Don't ask me the name of the village, I can't remember any more,

actually, I doubt I have ever known it. I only know that that day was extreme hot and we had to walk a lot in a dry lake to get to this coconut plantation. It is usually like that, the villages look quite the same, the houses are small (in this case it was a palace - three rooms and toilet!) and then sugarcane, rice and coconut. But this time I decided to open my own coconut, and after fierce battles I declared myself winner. Originally I wanted to climb the tree to get my own nut, but that did not seem realistic. So, how to consume a coconut: first You cut a small hole, so that You can drink the milk. I don't know why it's called milk as it is rather like flavoured water, with a very nice pleasant and refreshing taste. It is not easy to drink it, I think it is not really possible without getting wet all over, it happens with the Indians as well, so I guess it's part of the ritual. So, after this, You cut the nut in half so You can eat the inside, that is huh, well how to explain, something soft and looks disgusting but tastes good. It is on the wall of the shell and if You are good enough with knife You can cut a "spoon" to scrape it. That's all I know about it. Now it is shared.

In brief

This is short post. I have some time and I want to share a few new experineces.

First: my shoes have been stolen. In India people leave their shoes in front of the door, in fact they wear slippers or sandals, as those are more appropriate in this climate. Anyway, my shoes were barely used and were collecting dust in front of the entrance for a month. Then one day I went out and recognized that they were not there anymore. I don't know if they were stolen during te night or during the day, but actually doesn't matter. I feel very uncomfortable that someone have come here sniffed around the house and took somethng that belonged to me. Not a nice feeling especially when You are so far away from home and things are just uncertain around You. The people are very freindly in general, saying hi, following You, many wnats to touch You etc. But since that I can't help being suspicious about their hidden intensions. It has been proved in several occasions that they see me as a rich guy who doesn't familiar here at all, and they are not shy to take advantage on it. Even when I know for sure that I am fooled I have very little to do against.

Second: we had our first pizza in India, and... we ordered it! And it works, they delivered it quite fast. Right after I hung up, they called me back to tell, that they did not have the pizza I asked. Of course they only had the more expensive ones. We ended up receiving a chicken pizza. Meat is an interesting issue in India. As they don't eat much meat they don't really know how to preapre it. Well , in this case we had a few microscopic meat pieces on our pizza. But the garlic bread and the brownie(!) were great, so all in all we were satisfied.

That's it for now, I just wanted to share these few things, a longer post will some soon, stay aware! ;-)

Petya

Incredible India 3

I wanted to discuss my project leader lots of things, as I was new and felt the need of some kind of introductoin and orientation... You know how it is.... We agreed to meet on Monday at 9, then Sunday evening I went to her just to confirm the appointment and she told that 15 would be better, because she would not be here in the morning.. but if I don`t ask...

She did not came at 15, actually did not appear at all on Monday. I wrote a message and put it on her desk. I went to her office on Tuesday and asked if she had found it and she said "No"... my message was still there...under her laptop, just in front of her... interesting start... but it proved to be common here...

Nevertheless, I have been to Auroville. I don't know if You have ever heard about this place, but it is truly amazing. It is hard to describe what is it about, it is a kind of spiritual hippi commune.

Here is the Charter of the place:

1. Auroville belongs to nobody in particular. Auroville belongs to humanity as a whole. But to live in Auroville, one must be the willing servitor of the Divine Consciousness.

2. Auroville will be the place of an unending education, of constant progress, and a youth that never ages.

3. Auroville wants to be the bridge between the past and the future. Taking advantage of all discoveries from without and from within, Auroville will boldly spring towards future realisations.

4. Auroville will be a site of material and spiritual researches for a living embodiment of an actual Human Unity.
It is difficult to say more about it You've got to go there and see it with Your own eyes...

Less spiritual, but not to underestimate, Auroville also has a beautiful beach. I got sunburnt as there is no shade on the beach and we forgot to take any sun cream. As a result I have been peeling and peeling... The ocean is really warm, but really. And the waves are huge, I love it, can't get bored, can't wait the next weekend to go back. Wonderful, exactly what You can see in the TV, palm trees, white sand... the only difference is that I am here! ;-)

There are several topics I haven't written about yet, but You must forgive me for this. I am making an effort, but I just don't know how to select the relevant information.
Anyway I think I haven't told anything about my home. I live in the project's office house. That means that during the day I have to share my home with some people. On the other hand it takes 5 seconds to reach my office and after work we have a huge living space. We are located in the outskirts of Pondicherry in a recentlyly developped and rich neighbourhood. But in India this term has a different meaning. We have marbel floor, a huge hall, four rooms with bathroom for each, spacious balconies... BUT: we only have running water for two hours per day. For the rest of the time we can get water from a well, pumped by a generator. We shouldn't drink it, but I am still alive...
There is no system for collecting the rubbish so everyone - including me - throws it onto the street. This photo with the cow was taken just in front of our gate. There are many stray dogs around, there is no sewage system, the waste water is running on the streets... this is also part of the reality. And the strange thing is that I got used to it in two weeks. Fortunately the dogs don't pose any danger, they are treated very badly here so they are afraid of people. When I arrived the garden was empty, only dry red soil. We are in the process to build a real garden, and step by step it looks better and better. I don't yet dare to put a pic, maybe in a few weeks...
So that's it for now...

Ich berue nichts.... trotzdem

"....Ich wollte immer jemand für dich sein,

der ich ganz bestimmt nie war.

Auch wenn ich's noch so doll versucht hab,

ich hab es leider nie geschafft.

Ich wollte dich in deiner Welt besuchen,

doch ich flog immer dran vorbei.

Deinen Träumen bin ich hinterhergejagt,

ich hab sie nie erreicht.

Ich versuchte dir ganz nah zu sein,

jede Nacht in unserem Bett,

doch während ich deine Hand hielt,

war dein Herz meilenweit weg.

Ich wollte immer jemand für dich sein,

der ich ganz bestimmt nie war.

Das ständige "In-die-Augen-schaun"

hat uns blind gemacht.

Ich war nie der, den du suchtest,

auch wenn ich "Hier!" geschrien hab,

als du nach jemandem gerufen hast,

weil du alleine warst.

In unseren besten Momenten

waren wir zusammen im Paradies,

doch irgendetwas holte uns

immer viel zu schnell zurück,

viel zu schnell zurück.

Ich wollte immer jemand für dich sein,

der ich ganz bestimmt nie war,

als du nach mir gerufen hast,

weil du alleine warst.

Trotzdem würde ich den selben Weg

noch einmal mit dir gehen,

auch mit all den Fehlern,

denn ich bereue nichts."

Incredible India 2

The plane landed in Chennai and my concerns and fears grew giant. Will she be there? How will she look like? What will she say first?

Of course she was there, and she looked very nice, and I don't remember what did she say first...

We had a long way to Pondicherry by bus, the fellow passangers were sleeping, the seats were uncomfortable, it was very drafty and I had my big bag on my laps.... and Raquel next to me... the best part of my journey to India...

On Thursday we had a free day, so we woke up late and went to Pondicherry - we live in the outskirts - the center is 25-20 minutes by bus. My first impressins were mixed: interesting and attractive with all it's dirt, heat, noise, and man-made chaos.

On Friday we went to a tour around the area my project is operating. The group consisted of a nice Ambassador car, four strange Tamils, Raquel and me. We arrived in the first village after one and a half hour. The locals surrounded us immediately, they got chairs for Raquel and me, stood around us and stared at us. This procedure repeated several times during that day, and it is quite general, the white guys have to sit, they get the food first etc.

Then one of the guy with us told me: "Now You ask." Well, I was the main attraction so I had to speak. Of course I had no clue about anything so my questions were rather childish and naive - I'm afraid. But village by village I gained some routine... All in all, it was quite embarassing apart from the funny side.

Next day we visited some of Raquel's students in their home villages. One thing to mention: Raquel has some Indian clothes, dark hair and eyes, and... well, her height is that of an average Tamil's. BUT.... I am big and blond... well... a stranger from very far, smiling like and idiot and repeating: "Vanakamm, I'm Peter." Panem et circens sounds the old wisdom. I am here rather because of the bread part but I have had more success so far in the circus business :-(

We got coconut straight from the tree, very tasty juice and then they cut in half so You can get the fruit itself. I saw rice and sugar cane fields, a whole family of five on one motorbike and volleyball court next to a Hindu temple, occupied by monkeys, cows and dogs. I had a little insight in the life of the locals, I could see how poor many of them are, but I saw also their willingness to enjoy life and I relly respect them for it. It was a very nice Saturday with lots of food, new people and fun... I felt related, and touched by the genuine kindness of those people and the beauty of the countryside. I arrived to India...

Incredible India 1

We arrived in Delhi at one a.m. but we could only touch the Indian ground an hour later, as we did not have a place to park with the plane :-/
It took us one more hour to officially enter the country because we had to fill in a long questionare and then wait in the queue.

The first place I visited in India was the toilet at the airport... I entered and all of a sudden three guys surroneded me, opened me the cabin door, wiped the floor and cleaned the toilet before I went in. When I came out they poured soap on my hand opened the tap, and then dried my hand with paper... and then asked for money..... Then I went to change money, and the guy tried to foul me... so I had the feeling that this would be something really new!

The way into the center gave the first impression of Indian traffic, the main rules are: use the horn whatever You do, and the stronger gos first. There is a sign on all buses and trucks: "Sound Horn" "Please Horn" or sth. very similar. So far I could not have gotten used to it. Of course crossing a road even at green light on a pedestrian crossing is a form of suicide.... except for that You are a cow, then no problem. Next day when I went to the airport in the rush hour witha riksha... well that was a real adventure, it took one hour... in the first ten minutes I was sure that I would die... but afer that I really enjoyed.

In Delhi we slept in the school. Sunil, the guy who picked us up in the bed, Natacha and me on the floor next to him. He offered that if we find the floor to hard we can join him in the bed... well, Indian people are a bit different. The student were nice in the school, I introduced myself when I got up, and from that time on every time I passed threw the classroom they stared at me and asked: Peter, what are You doing now? Where are You going now? And then Jenny came and took us for a lunch, my first Indian meal, it was hot, we ate at a street vendor, I enjoyed... it was so different from the meals I had before... the peole, the tastes, the smells, the cars... And then Jenny took away Natacha, my Natacha, with whom we survived so many things together... and I stayed there... I had not felt so lonely for a long long time before. But then soon I got the riksha and went to the airport to head to Chennai...

So far the mail, what more I can say now that I want to put it on my blog?

Natacha is a special friend of mine, she tamed me - as my favourite Little Prince would say. I trust her as I trust very few people on this World, and this will not disappear even if we won't be able to talk much in the coming months. I am glad to have her in my life. This is not very Indian story but is a very important one. Micimackó will always remind me of You Natacha :-)

Once upon a time...

The last two weeks of my stay in Norway was incredible. I felt like a ghost flying around in the house once was my home. I had very little to do and I didn't even do that little. I was not there anymore but I was not in India yet. I'm writing this words in India, but I clearly remember the overwhelming feeling of uncertinity, helplessness, uselessnes. My life derailed in those weeks and I was just standing in front of the wreckage without any clue what to do. And I went on the nerves of all the people who were so nice to me and wanted to help and enjoy the remaining days of our common life up there in the mountains. I don't apologize, I do regret my behaviour in those days but I consider it necessary..... Natacha, Andris, Irma, Joanna, Jo.... if I can say something, it is: Thank You. Thank You for being there with me, for Your time, for the said and unsaid words. Thank You for the support I had felt and could read from Your eyes....

I remember the dayI went to Oslo to pick up the visas, I accompanied Andrzej who left on the same day. We did not talk much because my head was full with thoughts after a morning chat, but I clearly saw the saddness in his eyes. And when I said Good bye in Oslo he burst into tears.. and it was such a deeply human moment.. I felt ashamed that I did not tried to cheer him up.. huged him and ran away. But I ran away from myself because I was as lost as him.

Then we had our Farewell party, with a thoughtful slideshow with pictures of our previuous months in England and Norway. I was not crying but rather because it is not my style than anything else. Of course I was not ready with packing my luggages, but that is normal, You who know me can confirm...
I remember the way down to Lillehammer, the way I made so many times... and the feeling that eveerything I see I see last time... emptiness inside silence in the car.
That's all I want to say about it, these are the things need to be remembered. And those tiny little crumbs of memories I rather keep in my head... a smile... cafe latte... ketchup... hugs... kisses... cigarettes... :-)
Petya