Morrison's Pub, Jamie Winchester...
I did not want to go at all. I wanted to stay at home and stay sober at least for this one night... But it was good. Very good...
"..What if God was one of us..."
Do You believe in crime without punishment?
If in doubt ask Fyodor... or Woody (sorry, I watched Matchpoint yesterday).
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Sunday, October 21, 2007
Over 1000, under 75
Last Thursday I visited a gym for the first time since I am back . The story behind the story:I lost 7 kg in India, but I checked it out and I was 71, means I got back 4 already. Not bad in two months, or... too bad. Anyway I let myself persuaded by my brother to join him for a so called spinning class. I had to simply ride a bike (without wheels of course). There was a rather attractive lady walking around and checking on us as we had to wear a gadget that showed almost every details on a watch from our pulse to the calories we burnt... bla-bla. I found it funny except for the fact that my butt (what is a polite word for this?) is still aching as the seat of of my "cycle" wasn't particularly comfortable. According to my personal device I burnt 600 calories, from which 55% was fat... They have by the way mirrors all over so I suspect that this is a club for exhibicionist people. And they also have disco-lights but for that I can hardly imagine any explanations, who wants to ride a bike in a disco?!
On Saturday I visited the Hundertwasser exhibition with Csabi (also known as Tangókirály). I have heard a lot about the guy, and I have been lucky enough to see some of his buildings in Wien.
And I remember vividly when I visited Shereen and arrived to Uelzen and had a glance at the railway - station. The first thought came to my mind was: "It must be a Hundertwasser" and so it was. I spent 20 minutes only in the toilet... think whatever You want ;-) I really admire those who can keep thier idealism despite of the regularly discouraging majority, those who follow thier own paths even if it leads to the unknown. In his case I even like his art and sympathtize with his environmentalist ideas. Maybe that's why I found the exhibition a little bit poor. It focuses on Hundertwasser the painter, but even in this particular area has little to offer, I can recall around 5-6 really good works. Anyway I had plenty of memories woken up seeing his works, so all in all it has worth it.
On Saturday I visited the Hundertwasser exhibition with Csabi (also known as Tangókirály). I have heard a lot about the guy, and I have been lucky enough to see some of his buildings in Wien.
And I remember vividly when I visited Shereen and arrived to Uelzen and had a glance at the railway - station. The first thought came to my mind was: "It must be a Hundertwasser" and so it was. I spent 20 minutes only in the toilet... think whatever You want ;-) I really admire those who can keep thier idealism despite of the regularly discouraging majority, those who follow thier own paths even if it leads to the unknown. In his case I even like his art and sympathtize with his environmentalist ideas. Maybe that's why I found the exhibition a little bit poor. It focuses on Hundertwasser the painter, but even in this particular area has little to offer, I can recall around 5-6 really good works. Anyway I had plenty of memories woken up seeing his works, so all in all it has worth it.
p.s. Mr Kaczynski's Law and Justice (PiS) party lost the elections in Poland to the liberal Civic Platform (PO). Good news :-)
Thursday, October 11, 2007
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had
This morning I was woken up by an SMS (lately I don't switch off my mobile for the night, God knows why). I learnt from the message that my ex-girlfriend, Marta gave birth to her first child (Orsolya, 4 kg, 58 cm Wish You a nice and happy life sweetheart!). I had been expecting this news for a weeks, but when it actually arrived... well, ok... first of all I went back to bed...
But later on, during the day I found myself staring at the words. I still haven't answered, I guess I seem to be quite impolite, but I hope that she knows me better than that (still). I am very happy about her/them, that's absolutely clear. And yeah, I am also envy. I envy the situation having someone with whom we can trust each other so much that we decide to have a child. I don't know, I have always been crazy about this kind of security, I built a huge myth around it, and it still haunts.
I have this image in my head that I will build a big house with a fireplace and even my grandchildren will live there (at least one of them). And I keep all the books I have ever read around me. And I always expect that all my friendships and grilfriends will last forever. Inside my little mind I build everyting for the eternity.
One night I was sitting on a tram looking out of the window. It was dark outside so it worked more like a mirror all things inside the tram reflected on it. A couple was sitting on the other side and they leaned close to each other to kiss. In this mirror of mine however the girl leaned forward and reached my face and kissed ME! I almost fell down from my seat, I was dizzy and walked home with a big smile on my face.
Other night, waiting for the bus. A car came with big noise and obviously with far greater speed than it's allowed. As it approached me, I thought that the driver would lose controll and hit me. It was a sudden and strong feeling, for a second I was really sure that I would die. And I felt so empty, it was as if cold air filled my stomach, time slowed down. I had no other thought than Finito. I think I was sad a bit. I stood there waiting for my destiny to drag me away. Then the car passed and everything was blown away; the emptiness, the cold air... and I remained in the bus stop with a bit of disappointment.
But later on, during the day I found myself staring at the words. I still haven't answered, I guess I seem to be quite impolite, but I hope that she knows me better than that (still). I am very happy about her/them, that's absolutely clear. And yeah, I am also envy. I envy the situation having someone with whom we can trust each other so much that we decide to have a child. I don't know, I have always been crazy about this kind of security, I built a huge myth around it, and it still haunts.
I have this image in my head that I will build a big house with a fireplace and even my grandchildren will live there (at least one of them). And I keep all the books I have ever read around me. And I always expect that all my friendships and grilfriends will last forever. Inside my little mind I build everyting for the eternity.
One night I was sitting on a tram looking out of the window. It was dark outside so it worked more like a mirror all things inside the tram reflected on it. A couple was sitting on the other side and they leaned close to each other to kiss. In this mirror of mine however the girl leaned forward and reached my face and kissed ME! I almost fell down from my seat, I was dizzy and walked home with a big smile on my face.
Other night, waiting for the bus. A car came with big noise and obviously with far greater speed than it's allowed. As it approached me, I thought that the driver would lose controll and hit me. It was a sudden and strong feeling, for a second I was really sure that I would die. And I felt so empty, it was as if cold air filled my stomach, time slowed down. I had no other thought than Finito. I think I was sad a bit. I stood there waiting for my destiny to drag me away. Then the car passed and everything was blown away; the emptiness, the cold air... and I remained in the bus stop with a bit of disappointment.
Friday, October 5, 2007
Same sleepless night
I have run out of words... so I turned to the masters to speak for me...
Karollak, vonlak s mégsem érlek el,
Itt a fehér csönd, a fehér lepel.
Nem volt ilyen nagy csönd még soha tán,
Sikolts belé, mert mindjárt elveszünk,
Állunk és várunk, csüggedt a kezünk
A csókok és könnyek alkonyatán.
Sikoltva, marva bukjék rám fejed
S én tépem durván bársony-testedet.
Nagyon is síma, illatos hajad,
Zilálva, tépve verje arcomat.
Fehér nyakad most nagyon is fehér,
Vas-ujjaim közt fesse kékre vér.
Ragadjon gyilkot fehér, kis kezed:
Megállt az élet, nincsen több sora,
Nincs kínja, csókja, könnye, mámora,
Jaj, mindjárt minden, minden elveszett.
Fehér ördög-lepel hullott miránk,
Fehér és csöndes lesz már a világ,
Átkozlak, téplek, marlak szilajon,
Átkozz, tépj, marj és sikolts, akarom.
Megöl a csend, ez a fehér lepel:
Űzz el magadtól, vagy én űzlek el.
Karollak, vonlak s mégsem érlek el,
Itt a fehér csönd, a fehér lepel.
Nem volt ilyen nagy csönd még soha tán,
Sikolts belé, mert mindjárt elveszünk,
Állunk és várunk, csüggedt a kezünk
A csókok és könnyek alkonyatán.
Sikoltva, marva bukjék rám fejed
S én tépem durván bársony-testedet.
Nagyon is síma, illatos hajad,
Zilálva, tépve verje arcomat.
Fehér nyakad most nagyon is fehér,
Vas-ujjaim közt fesse kékre vér.
Ragadjon gyilkot fehér, kis kezed:
Megállt az élet, nincsen több sora,
Nincs kínja, csókja, könnye, mámora,
Jaj, mindjárt minden, minden elveszett.
Fehér ördög-lepel hullott miránk,
Fehér és csöndes lesz már a világ,
Átkozlak, téplek, marlak szilajon,
Átkozz, tépj, marj és sikolts, akarom.
Megöl a csend, ez a fehér lepel:
Űzz el magadtól, vagy én űzlek el.
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
Norway remembered
"..The past, spread out ahead dominates everything in sight... The Ancient Greeks saw the future as something came upon them from behind thier backs with the past receding away before their eyes."I stole this from Mr. Robert M. Pirisg. I regard Zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance as one of my favourite books. The only one in this rather posh company I actually have never finished. I started it 3-4 times and I loved it but for some reason I never reached the last page. More accurately: I have never reached the last page after going through all the pages before...
Ok, this little bullshitting was an attempt to put my feelings into words Because Norway and that slice of my past dominates evrything in sight. Along with India of course, but somehow that is much better digeseted.
I spent only a week there between India and Hungary. It was great to see Irma and Andris again, not to mention Raquel..... the family gathered once again.
We arrived in the middle of the night, we met my brother at Oslo Airport, so we were three of us. But it was not the place I left behind, not at all. I was different and the place was different, and in every field there was a huge gap between my expectations and the reality. I was so much afraid of meeting new people getting related knowing that I was to leave in a week. I was an alien, greatful for every little crumb that reminded me my old life there.
I spent the most time with Natacha, protecting each other, giving comfort and... enjoying the sole presence of someone who knows us so well. We shared smiles, cigaretts and tea with milk, thoughts and silences. SILENCE, when it comes it invokes all the people You shared it before, all those very people worth to live for. I am using big words, but...well, I am talking about something big! :-)
And... inevitably I found interesting people like Bruno and Dalibor with whom had I stayed longer...
Ok, this little bullshitting was an attempt to put my feelings into words Because Norway and that slice of my past dominates evrything in sight. Along with India of course, but somehow that is much better digeseted.
I spent only a week there between India and Hungary. It was great to see Irma and Andris again, not to mention Raquel..... the family gathered once again.
We arrived in the middle of the night, we met my brother at Oslo Airport, so we were three of us. But it was not the place I left behind, not at all. I was different and the place was different, and in every field there was a huge gap between my expectations and the reality. I was so much afraid of meeting new people getting related knowing that I was to leave in a week. I was an alien, greatful for every little crumb that reminded me my old life there.
I spent the most time with Natacha, protecting each other, giving comfort and... enjoying the sole presence of someone who knows us so well. We shared smiles, cigaretts and tea with milk, thoughts and silences. SILENCE, when it comes it invokes all the people You shared it before, all those very people worth to live for. I am using big words, but...well, I am talking about something big! :-)And... inevitably I found interesting people like Bruno and Dalibor with whom had I stayed longer...
Well, ok seems that I am running circles I erased the next paragraph 5 times I think I'd better give it up for now and cut it short. We went paddling several times with my brother, visited the island, ate blue berries. We saw an elk or muse or whatever family (they were huge, man!) I played again 
volleyball and table tennis. I felt excited and free and scared and hopeless and jealous and annoyed. And it was once again this roller-coaster effect: moods switching so fast You cannot adjust.
Then I took my borther to Oslo for a day. I like the harbour and Vigeland Park and I love the Munch Museum. It is small, it can be finished in 40 minutes. Then I start to run back to my favourites and if I am lucky I can stay alone in one room and just sit and try to find words to cover the feelings, but I am just illiterate when it comes to art. I don't have the vocabulary. By now I can tell at least what I like but I can't explain why. So the week flew away, I could hear the clock ticking all the time and then I found myself standing at Lillehammer Railway Station....
volleyball and table tennis. I felt excited and free and scared and hopeless and jealous and annoyed. And it was once again this roller-coaster effect: moods switching so fast You cannot adjust.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)