Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Norway remembered

"..The past, spread out ahead dominates everything in sight... The Ancient Greeks saw the future as something came upon them from behind thier backs with the past receding away before their eyes."
I stole this from Mr. Robert M. Pirisg. I regard Zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance as one of my favourite books. The only one in this rather posh company I actually have never finished. I started it 3-4 times and I loved it but for some reason I never reached the last page. More accurately: I have never reached the last page after going through all the pages before...
Ok, this little bullshitting was an attempt to put my feelings into words Because Norway and that slice of my past dominates evrything in sight. Along with India of course, but somehow that is much better digeseted.
I spent only a week there between India and Hungary. It was great to see Irma and Andris again, not to mention Raquel..... the family gathered once again.
We arrived in the middle of the night, we met my brother at Oslo Airport, so we were three of us. But it was not the place I left behind, not at all. I was different and the place was different, and in every field there was a huge gap between my expectations and the reality. I was so much afraid of meeting new people getting related knowing that I was to leave in a week. I was an alien, greatful for every little crumb that reminded me my old life there.
I spent the most time with Natacha, protecting each other, giving comfort and... enjoying the sole presence of someone who knows us so well. We shared smiles, cigaretts and tea with milk, thoughts and silences. SILENCE, when it comes it invokes all the people You shared it before, all those very people worth to live for. I am using big words, but...well, I am talking about something big! :-)
And... inevitably I found interesting people like Bruno and Dalibor with whom had I stayed longer...
Well, ok seems that I am running circles I erased the next paragraph 5 times I think I'd better give it up for now and cut it short. We went paddling several times with my brother, visited the island, ate blue berries. We saw an elk or muse or whatever family (they were huge, man!) I played again volleyball and table tennis. I felt excited and free and scared and hopeless and jealous and annoyed. And it was once again this roller-coaster effect: moods switching so fast You cannot adjust.
Then I took my borther to Oslo for a day. I like the harbour and Vigeland Park and I love the Munch Museum. It is small, it can be finished in 40 minutes. Then I start to run back to my favourites and if I am lucky I can stay alone in one room and just sit and try to find words to cover the feelings, but I am just illiterate when it comes to art. I don't have the vocabulary. By now I can tell at least what I like but I can't explain why. So the week flew away, I could hear the clock ticking all the time and then I found myself standing at Lillehammer Railway Station....

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