Once upon a time...

The last two weeks of my stay in Norway was incredible. I felt like a ghost flying around in the house once was my home. I had very little to do and I didn't even do that little. I was not there anymore but I was not in India yet. I'm writing this words in India, but I clearly remember the overwhelming feeling of uncertinity, helplessness, uselessnes. My life derailed in those weeks and I was just standing in front of the wreckage without any clue what to do. And I went on the nerves of all the people who were so nice to me and wanted to help and enjoy the remaining days of our common life up there in the mountains. I don't apologize, I do regret my behaviour in those days but I consider it necessary..... Natacha, Andris, Irma, Joanna, Jo.... if I can say something, it is: Thank You. Thank You for being there with me, for Your time, for the said and unsaid words. Thank You for the support I had felt and could read from Your eyes....

I remember the dayI went to Oslo to pick up the visas, I accompanied Andrzej who left on the same day. We did not talk much because my head was full with thoughts after a morning chat, but I clearly saw the saddness in his eyes. And when I said Good bye in Oslo he burst into tears.. and it was such a deeply human moment.. I felt ashamed that I did not tried to cheer him up.. huged him and ran away. But I ran away from myself because I was as lost as him.

Then we had our Farewell party, with a thoughtful slideshow with pictures of our previuous months in England and Norway. I was not crying but rather because it is not my style than anything else. Of course I was not ready with packing my luggages, but that is normal, You who know me can confirm...
I remember the way down to Lillehammer, the way I made so many times... and the feeling that eveerything I see I see last time... emptiness inside silence in the car.
That's all I want to say about it, these are the things need to be remembered. And those tiny little crumbs of memories I rather keep in my head... a smile... cafe latte... ketchup... hugs... kisses... cigarettes... :-)
Petya