"There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness." Friedrich Nietzsche

I was not planning to reflect on myself. By now it seems inevitable. This was my first post that triggered some waves in the form of reactions. Thank You for those all, who wrote me and shared their views, it means me a lot. And let me grabb the opportunity here to encourage everyone to write, if You feel like.... You are more than welcome!

As far as my knowledge goses this page is visited only by those who are important for me, either memberes of my family or friends. This is an important remark, because I do care about the opinion of these people. And most of them suggested to remove the incriminated post from my blog. I have been considering and my decision it to leave it there, at least for the time being. But this decision needs to be explained.

I was strongly criticized for calling Raquel a bitch and other names. In the light of all my precautions at the beginning I am genuinly surprised. The unusually and unexpectedly strong expressions, are there, and only there to express my state of mind and to emphasize how contradicted my feelings are. And in NO WAY are they reflecting on Raquel’s behaviour towards me or her profession or anything concerning her….

That was a special occasion, a long and frustrating night, spent with work while feeling sick and fighting my inner battles. And engaged in a conversation with Raquel. In no circumstances would I use the same expressions again. However the feelings are the same. The very feeling of losing someone we are in love with.... the anger, the hopes, the pain... well, it's there.

For those who are unlucky enough to follow Hungarian politics let me propose a grotesque comparism that happened to cross my mind. Should in Your opinion Mr. Gyurcsany withdraw the speech in Öszöd just because of such expressions as „elkurtuk”? I have always thought that these expressions are merly to emphasize the content, to create an atmosphere in what the ears are open. Tools, no more no less. The esthetic quality might be argued, but taking them out of the context put them in the limelight and judge the text and the speaker according to?! That speech was targeting a certain audience, who were expected to understand. So did my post.

It stays for now, if it hurts anyone in any way I do apologize. It was not meant to do so. If someone feels the need to judge me according to the mere words instead of the meaning, saddened though, but I will accept.